Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
