I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
