I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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