how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
