C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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