3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She announced her abortion via fbk
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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