Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Holy sore nipples Batman
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
