My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
