it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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