ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
