Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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