You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
