as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
