I looked at my own cervix.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
