I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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