I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize