your thong is hanging out like whoa
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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