Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Operation Purity has been aborted
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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