she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My ATM looks so different sober.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize