In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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