Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
