The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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