That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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