I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
