I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
