It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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