Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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