i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
