i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
