Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
