Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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