Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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