theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
But break dance skills will only take you so far
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
