I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
