Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
