if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
