can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
