He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
not ubering you a puppy
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