I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
smell my finger.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
