In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
