Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
