last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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