I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
