I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Your cock deserves a montage
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
