1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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