Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
