I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
