Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
