so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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