i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
