I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I cannot find my penis.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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