Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize