And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
