I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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