Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
