No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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