a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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