I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
