So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
