u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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