I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
