I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
