Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
