it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize