we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
