The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
