No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
