some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
